M.I. understanding

Emotional regulation

Sometimes children struggle managing their emotions. They are still learning to express themselves and need to learn what brings on big feelings.

Emmet

Emmet’s reaction to everything is to fly off the handle. He is often referred to by other adults as emotional.

If he can’t have the toy he wants, if he isn’t served the lunch he was hoping for, he immediately gets extremely upset.

Even when playing with his friends, if they don’t follow Emmet’s rules, he storms off in tears.

Emmet needs support learning to manage his emotions.

Does this sound like your child?

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What is Emotional regulation?

Emotional regulation refers to managing strong feeling and emotions: how you react to situations good and bad, or how you are able to control your emotions during a stressful or upsetting situation. It is an important skill for children to learn.

Why is Emotional regulation an important skill to learn?

Learning to manage big emotions impacts a person’s ability to maintain relationships, make friends and overall success. Learning to manage our emotions during stressful situations is a valuable skill, especially in today’s world. It’s a skill your children will use throughout their lives to manage incoming and outgoing stress.

What to remember

Learning to manage big emotions impacts a person’s ability to maintain relationships, make friends and overall success. Learning to manage our emotions during stressful situations is a valuable skill, especially in today’s world. It’s a skill your children will use throughout their lives to manage incoming and outgoing stress.

Watch this video on Emotional Regulation

With an introduction and follow up by Dr King at The Mary J. Wright Child and Youth Development Clinic, Faculty of Education, Western University.

Think about your role in modeling Emotional regulation.

When emotions start to escalate, how can you turn this situation around?

☻ Recognize you are getting frustrated.
☻ Validate how your child is feeling.
☻ Acknowledge your child is having a hard time.
☻ Engage your child in finding a solution so everyone’s needs are met.

Recognize your feelings – validate their feelings and work together!

Working together is key!

Creating a Plan

  • Creating a plan helps you and your child work together to manage big feelings in the future.
  • Print off the plan on the kids page << Stop, Drop and Go with the Flow >> and come up with a plan together.
  • Take the plan with you ( print off or on your phone) so you can remember what you need to do when emotions start to rise. Don’t forget to bring Poppy for some extra support!

You can use this plan to explain to family, friends or care givers how you and your child are working together to overcome big feelings. Use it to communicate to your child’s school or family doctor too!

Things to remember when building a plan:

  • Prep: Go over the day/event. What is expected? What will you do? What do you need your child to do? What can you do together?
  • Print off the plan and take it with you so everyone remembers what they need to do.
  • What are the important things to remember? What are the key parts of the plan?Determine the tough points: when does it get difficult, what are we going to do when that happens?
  • Yes to success or Maybe next time: what do we need to do differently, or do we just need more practice? Even the best plans still need practice sometimes.

The Plan (example)

Working together to:

Leave Grandma’s without tears

What happened?

Prep- what will today look like:

  • We are going to stay at our house until noon
  • Just before lunch we will head to Grandma’s
  • We will be having lunch at Grandma’sthe adults will visit upstairs, the kids will play downstairs
  • Parent will give a 30-minute warning when it’s time to leave
  • Parent will come down 10 minutes before to help clean up
  • Child will follow parent up, grab coat and put on shoes and hold Poppy
  • Say goodbye to Grandma, leave for home
Event:

Visiting Grandma’s on Saturday

How did I react

Parent- what will be my role in this plan:

  • Review the plan with child before we go to Grandmas
  • This would be a good time for questions
  • Give a 30-minute warning10-minute warning- help clean up, get ready to go
  • No yelling
  • Recognize when parent is losing patience
  • Remember child is trying The plan is to work together
Date:

March 18. 2024

What can I do instead?

Child- what will my role be in this plan:

  • Make sure I understand the plan- am I OK with the plan?
  • This is a good time for questions
  • Make sure I hear and understand the 30-minute warning. If I think I am going to struggle- go find parent
  • 10-minute warning- help clean up
  • No yelling
  • Let someone know if the big feelings are starting
  • Grab coat, put on shoes, hold Poppy

Now It’s your turn!

  • Don’t forget to collaborate with your child and validate their feelings
  • Go to the kids page and help your child work through the activities in the Emmet library #1 << Stop, drop and go with the flow >>
Download a plan template

This is your chance to work with your child to come up with a plan for next time. Work through the activities on kids page – they have been designed to help you start a conversation. 

Come up with a plan that works for everyone.